Today, I am reviewing a book called Sex God Method by Daniel Rose. If that names sounds familiar it may be because Dan is speaking at the Orlando convention this year.

This is not a book about picking up girls. This is also not a book about seducing women. This book assumes you can get into the bedroom on your own. This book is about sex. For those of you who don’t know or don’t yet realize, sex is one of the most important parts of any relationship. If you look at top complaints of people in relationships, then sex will always appear in some form on the list. Either they aren’t getting enough, or they don’t like what they are getting. If you aren’t sexually satisfying your partner, then he/she will find someone that can get the job done. That is just the unfortunate and cold fact of it. Bad sex is ...]]>

Today, I am reviewing a book called Sex God Method by Daniel Rose. If that names sounds familiar it may be because Dan is speaking at the Orlando convention this year.

This is not a book about picking up girls. This is also not a book about seducing women. This book assumes you can get into the bedroom on your own. This book is about sex. For those of you who don’t know or don’t yet realize, sex is one of the most important parts of any relationship. If you look at top complaints of people in relationships, then sex will always appear in some form on the list. Either they aren’t getting enough, or they don’t like what they are getting. If you aren’t sexually satisfying your partner, then he/she will find someone that can get the job done. That is just the unfortunate and cold fact of it. Bad sex is an infection that will always eventually destroy any relationship. Simply put, if the sex is bad, then why would she be anything other than just a friend?

That said, being good in bed is an incredible asset. Part of the reason I have so much confidence when I approach girls is because I know I can make her toes curl while tumbling between my sheets later. If I didn’t know that I could satisfy her it would make me doubt myself and what I was able to bring to the table.

I am a big fan of the approach this book takes to sex. Many books on sex are filled out with charts of sex positions and/or precise detail about hand position. This often just makes sex worse. You end up inside you head turning sex into something like a doctors visit. If you need to consult a diagram mid thrust, then its a bad book. Sex God Method isn’t that kind of book. It focuses mostly on the mental aspects of sex, and how women react to our actions in the bedroom. This book focuses on the psychological arousal of women.

Daniel’s approach to sex breaks down into four essential components: Dominance, Emotion, Variation, and Immersion. I won’t ruin the book by going into detail here, but what he puts into each section is a well thought out explanation of how each of these elements can be evoked in the bedroom. When in harmony they lead to great sex.

The book goes much farther than that though. It is fairly comprehensive. It has solid advice from anal sex to helping a girl through her first time. It covers fantasies also. For those of you who haven’t read Nancy Friday’s My Secret Garden, women fantasize more often and in far more complex ways then men do. This is an essential section that covers bringing these up with your girl. Daniel also has explanations about setting up open relationships. He discusses stagnation in long-term relationships, and suggests a myriad of ways to keep things fresh. He even has a section about losing your virginity, and in retrospect, most of us could have used the advice then even more.

This book really hits the nail on the head. There is a lot of solid advice to be taken away purely from a practical perspective. However, the underlying message of this book is really the part that I like the most. Firstly sex is not something a woman gives you as a reward. In “the community”, we often treat it that way, and that’s a mistake.

Secondly, women enjoy sex way more than men. This is precisely the opposite of a lot of the garbage that we are fed growing up. Finally, you should never at any point be judgmental of your girlfriend in the bed room. If she starts to believe that her sexuality is causing you to have a negative view of her, then you aren’t going to get her to open up to you sexually.

The advice is correct, and effective. If you are looking to improve your skills in bed, this is the best book you can buy. There is no substitute for practice, but this book will tell you everything you need to know about sex. Maybe not everything you want to know, but everything necessary to make the next girl you sleep with a definite repeat visitor.

If you aren’t satisfying your girl, you should buy this book. Plain and simple. Its some of the best sex advice I have ever read. Its not hard to be a great lover. Its takes practice though, but that’s really the best part.

Let me mention the VIP bonus content. There is a ton of it. Dozens of videos and articles that go into even further detail. I wish I had time to go over the entire site, but there is just far to much information. The site has some of the more technical sides of sex, which is fine as long as you keep in mind the lessons from the book. I did sit down and watch and read several of the articles, and Dan’s advice remains as consistently spot on as the book. The content is also updated regularly with new information. Joining the VIP program will also net you access to monthly tele-seminars where you can talk to Dan directly and ask whatever questions that might still plague you. This really adds a great deal of long term value to the product. If I had another couple weeks and a lot of free time, then I could probably finish it all.

Overall, I endorse this product. The price of the e-book is only about $40, which is a fairly reasonable price compared to some similar products. The VIP access costs another 8 dollars a month. The ability to get ask Dan questions directly is worth the cost alone. You are enrolled in it automatically, but it can be canceled at anytime. Give it a shot for at least the first month, because you are going to want to access to all the bonus material, which may even be more information than the book itself.

RATING 4 out of 5 Stars

If you like the book, then make sure to come see Dan and the rest of us at The 21 Convention of Orlando Florida this July. To find out more and purchase the book click the image below.

As most of you have noticed by this point, I prefer to communicate and keep in touch – both personally and for The 21 Convention – through social media, and this website.

Blog, forum, Facebook, Twitter, in that order.

It wasn’t always like this however. We used to be solely focused on e-mail, before I realized that attaching my name to this convention was not only “okay”, but highly beneficial, in the sense of the transparency and authenticity it adds to the whole che bang.

That is my real Facebook account with real activity on it, created over 4 years ago. Paradoxically the convention takes up most of my time now a days, but never the less there it is, and all corresponding activity.

Anyway, social media is all well and good, but I have been keeping a tally of requests I get for an official “news letter” ...]]>

As most of you have noticed by this point, I prefer to communicate and keep in touch – both personally and for The 21 Convention – through social media, and this website.

Blog, forum, Facebook, Twitter, in that order.

It wasn’t always like this however. We used to be solely focused on e-mail, before I realized that attaching my name to this convention was not only “okay”, but highly beneficial, in the sense of the transparency and authenticity it adds to the whole che bang.

That is my real Facebook account with real activity on it, created over 4 years ago. Paradoxically the convention takes up most of my time now a days, but never the less there it is, and all corresponding activity.

Anyway, social media is all well and good, but I have been keeping a tally of requests I get for an official “news letter” or e-mail list from and for The 21 Convention ever since we abruptly stopped sending e-mails en mass – and it’s broken my personal threshold.

Actually, what really tipped the scales were the in person requests I got while I was on my speaking tour of Europe to promote T21C Europe. Stockholm, Gothenburg, Amsterdam, Munich, and Vienna.

Read about it here on my blog and see pics here.

In Munich and Vienna for example, I got close to half a dozen – in each city.

This to me, was an omen. Time to start the news letter back up, and do it right this time. How are we going to do that?

1. Make it voluntary

No forced “opt ins” for our content. When I say “free”, I actually mean it, and mark my word, our event and documentary footage will never demand your e-mail address or any other contact or personal information. Free means free, not “fair”.

2. Structure the $hit out of it

Rather than send out randomly organized blocks of text, thoughts, and links, the T21C news letter will stick to a structure – ever evolving as it is.

Dodger and I need to work on this a bit more, but I’m currently thinking of including the following in each news letter, in the listed order.

• A. Important announcements
• B. Favorite article or video of the week (on site, from all time)
• C. Favorite article or video of the week (from T21C speakers, their sites, current)
• D. My answer to a reader’s question
• E. Dodger’s answer to a separate reader question
• F. Repeat of important announcements

Want your question answered on the very first news letter? E-mail your question to info@the21convention.com

3. Bring on Dodger for the news letter

My responsibilities and duties with The 21 Convention are constantly growing, expanding, and changing – rapidly. As such, I am going to bring Dodger aka “Hshudo” on board for the news letter. Long term there’s no telling what will happen, but potentially Dodger could one day run the news letter completely and I would only be there to answer a reader question each e-mail.

Why Dodger you ask?

Because he’s awesome, brings a lot of value to the table, and is a guy I trust (aka he’s responsible) to do something as important as this news letter – and do it right no less.

He may not be the only one of course, but for now it’s Dodger and I that will be doing this.

4. Create one main news letter, and two smaller announcement only lists.

For now there will only be one main news letter for The 21 Convention, however after The 21 Convention 2010 of Orlando Florida we will create two more, dedicated to announcements only. One for all things T21C in North America, and one for all things T21C in Europe. People on those lists will be contacted less frequently.

So if the main newsletter is a twice per month mail out, the geographically focused lists will be once per month, or even bi-monthly depending on the time of the year, what’s going on, etc.

…

And that’s it. You now know what’s in store for our news letter, and I encourage everyone and their grandma to hop on board for the main one starting TODAY. Your information is safe and secure with Aweber, and I promise never to spam your inbox with useless products or services, or even too many e-mails for that matter pimping our own awesome, relentless stream of free content.

We’re doing it right, and that means quality, not quantity.

Another product has launched into “the Pickup Community”. This one comes from Adam Lyons, one of the best known speakers from The 21 Convention. Adam has been called the worlds best pick up artist, and the worlds because pick up coach. So he is a great source for this kind of information.

Instant Attraction Training is an interesting product, and provides a different experience than many of the other products out there. It is made up an 18 part audio course, and a workbook. The workbook is the same as the one used in personal workshops. This product attempts to teach in a different way. It covers all the topics a competent man needs to know about for pick up. However, it doesn’t go into the same depth that other products do. Each audio section is only 5-15 minutes long. It just hits the high points. Because of this ...]]>

Another product has launched into “the Pickup Community”. This one comes from Adam Lyons, one of the best known speakers from The 21 Convention. Adam has been called the worlds best pick up artist, and the worlds because pick up coach. So he is a great source for this kind of information.

Instant Attraction Training is an interesting product, and provides a different experience than many of the other products out there. It is made up an 18 part audio course, and a workbook. The workbook is the same as the one used in personal workshops. This product attempts to teach in a different way. It covers all the topics a competent man needs to know about for pick up. However, it doesn’t go into the same depth that other products do. Each audio section is only 5-15 minutes long. It just hits the high points. Because of this approach, the product isn’t going to teach most community guys anything new. This isn’t actually a bad thing though.

Rather than bombard his students with endless jargon and theoretical explanation, Adam gives the bare bones. The rest is to be learned by experience in field. I could not agree more that field experience is the most necessary part of the journey to success with women. This is absolutely true. Let me make one thing clear. No product will ever save you from time actually speaking to women. This bare bones approach means that the student has clearer goals in mind. You can easily remember what you are supposed to do.  This doesn’t mean you are going to know everything, but you will know the necessary parts.

I feel like this product is useful for two groups. Anyone that is new will benefit from starting with this product. Because of how broad yet simple it is, it won’t over load you. This may sound counter intuitive, but a lot of theoretical knowledge will just make most guys freeze up. This product gives you just enough to get started. The other group would be keyboard jockeys. Any person that has been in ‘the community’ a long time, but has no success may want to have a look at this product. It will highlight the important parts for you right before you start your all important field work. It will also provide a handy refresher.

The workbook offers some interesting exercises, that I recommend doing. It also provides some additional explanation in certain cases. There is an optional VIP extension. This makes your account update monthly with new study courses. The first two are already available. The first is on Metagame, and comes in the form of one of Adam’s PUA Summit speeches. The second covers qualification. It isn’t a bad add on already considering the current bonus material, but there is more to come. I don’t have any word on it yet, but if the VIP expansions stay at this level it will be a strong addition.

Finally, lets talk cost. The Instant Attraction Training product costs 147 dollars. I personally think that is a bit steep. However, that said, there is a lot of bad advice out there. This product is solid, and doing what it says will never make you look like a creepy loser. So that makes it better than many. In addition, for 20 dollars when you buy the product, you can sign up for the VIP courses. (This goes up to 30 dollars later if you decide you want to buy it separately.)

I think at the end of the day, this is a good starting place for some one new. If coupled with time in the field, this product will be very useful. If there is anything in the field that you find insurmountable, then find a forum like Adam’s or ours and someone will be glad to help you.

Learn more and purchase Instant Attraction Training by clicking here.

-Dodger/Hshudo

This is an interview featuring myself (Anthony), El Topo, and Hshudo, from the eve of T21C 2009. It has been seen elsewhere before, but I recently realized it was never posted on The21Convention.com – until now!

This post has been in the back of my mind for some time now, and I think it’s finally time to speak freely about the people who have been or are currently a part of The 21 Convention – because believe it or not, I don’t run this show all on my own. I’ve had a lot of help over the years, and while credit may not be demanded by the following individuals, it is certainly due for their various contributions to the convention itself, or my personal life and well being.

This is meant to be a thanks more than a “top ten list”, and as such, the following individuals are not in any particular order of importance.

With that preamble out of the way, let’s begin shall we?

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy (the 2009 co-host and face of The 21 Convention) is somewhat of an old, and new friend alike – ...]]>

This post has been in the back of my mind for some time now, and I think it’s finally time to speak freely about the people who have been or are currently a part of The 21 Convention – because believe it or not, I don’t run this show all on my own. I’ve had a lot of help over the years, and while credit may not be demanded by the following individuals, it is certainly due for their various contributions to the convention itself, or my personal life and well being.

This is meant to be a thanks more than a “top ten list”, and as such, the following individuals are not in any particular order of importance.

With that preamble out of the way, let’s begin shall we?

Peter Murphy

Peter Murphy (the 2009 co-host and face of The 21 Convention) is somewhat of an old, and new friend alike – if that makes any sense. We grew up in the same town, and knew of each other vaguely while attending the same middle school together. Ironically, we traveled to Paris France together on a school trip in the 8^th grade.

After middle school I didn’t hear much about Peter, until meeting him at a mutual friends birthday dinner in Orlando. Someone he was with, sitting far across a large tabled whispered to him “Dude… is that Dream?!”

Peter of course recognized me from middle school, and at about the same time I recognized him. At which point – from memory – I shouted out PETER MURPHY!

As if we knew each other well from long ago. Of course, we didn’t. But we knew of each other well enough to recognize faces.

Peter had seen PPC ads on Facebook (join The 21 Convention fan page here) for The 21 Convention not long before this birthday dinner, and had read The Game not long before that. Needless to say, he was very well aware of both “the community” and The 21 Convention.

Knowing me personally from grade school, and living in Orlando currently, he was highly interested in attending the event.

We eventually began going out to bars, meeting women – the usual. As it turned out, Peter had hosted a show for MTV over the past summer, as well as for the local FOX News affiliate in our home town of Cape Coral.

Knowing full well The 21 Convention needed someone exactly like Peter … well, his involvement kind of grew organically as time went on. It was a no brainier. Peter not only had a passion and interest in helping “the community” equal to or greater than my own, but he also had a visible enthusiasm and talent for being on camera.

Something I sorely, and very obviously lack most of the time =)

Come July 2009 Peter performed an outstanding job as co-host of the event, and “show man” for the trailer that was literally created on the spot – yet blew people’s socks off upon it’s release.

Peter Murphy is currently something of a “micro-celebrity”, now hosting a local Orlando TV show called “Orlando Live”. And as previously mentioned, he had a short debut on MTV. He’s also starred in a few short films, including Call Girls.

His involvement with The 21 Convention is widespread, and crucial. He is constantly trying to get the convention press, and socially spreading the word about the event and website/free footage.

Peter will be the official host of T21C 2010 (Orlando). It’s time for me to step aside in that regard, and pass that torch on for all intensive purposes. I’ll still be there of course, and will open the event – but I leave the role and responsibility of host to him, as a friend, and someone I trust.

You can follow him on Twitter here and view his official site at PeterMurphy.TV. Expect to see him on the big screen some day

Michael Gottino

Michael is probably someone you have never heard of before, unless you are in the film industry. Never the less, his role in The 21 Convention, and my personal mental health surrounding the event, has been easily as important as anyone else s over the years.

We met at a local coffee shop he owned in the Spring of 2008 regarding my local Craigslist ad for video/audio production at T21C 2008. He was the first to respond, the first guy I called, and the first guy I met regarding the audio/video required at the event.

Lucky I did too. Had I not met and chosen his production company for the 2008 event, it’s very possibly I would not be sitting here writing this post for you guys.

Michael is a man of principles, and recognizes the value in a man’s word. When I severely missed budget in 2008, and was short funds I owed him for the job – he stuck by me. I promised I would pay him at all costs, no matter what it took – and he stood by me.

Others in his situation? Would have walked.

In fact, once some of the free lance camera men found out that money was coming up short … they threatened to walk. Michael actually drove to the bank, and payed them cash to finish the job.. Not money from the event, but from his own personal bank account – all on my word to pay him as soon as humanly possible.

Had he and his men walked off set, the event would not have been filmed past day 1. A blow like that would have permanently crippled The 21 Convention.

He trusted me though, and in due time, was paid in full – plus some extra for unexpected costs. Weeks later, 2008 footage was delivered and released in online streaming format on an old partner site we used before The21Convention.com launched.

Michael is currently in his mid 40′s, and has a family. The constant wisdom and insight he has provided me with regarding the entrepreneurial side of this event has been of immense value over the years. Without him, I honestly don’t know where this event would be right now.

And all of this aside, his creative and professional talent with video production have been like rocket fuel for this event.

Check out his lengthy and impressive resume here.

Steve “El Topo” Mayeda

In all honesty, I could sit here and rant on about 99% of the speakers from The 21 Convention over the years. They all deserve a special thanks, but, this post would then turn into another one of my too long and drawn out posts teetering on 10,000 words =).

Steve (El Topo) deserves a special mention in my book though, primarily because he is another one of the few people who stuck by me and this convention when it was down and seeing stars.

No lie, when I was thousands of dollars short for the event in 2008, I was scared. I was nineteen years old, and had very little experience to draw upon for a situation like that. Steve spoke with me one on one though, and explained different ways the situation could turn out, and the options I had as such.

Even more importantly, Steve had the idea to do a special dinner after the convention one night. $50 and you could eat with and pick the brains of most speakers at the event. We ended up raising over $800 dollars for the convention that night. All money was donated to the convention deficit.

There was still a long way to go, but never the less it helped ease tension on the audio/video production side.

Steve is also a person that is passionate about helping individuals, and moving this “community” forward – rather than maintaining the status quo. He is one of the few genuine dating instructors that I know of, and has helped set my head straight many a time, on a range of different topics.

Perhaps most importantly of all, he’s helped me question my own long held beliefs and visions for this convention in the coming years. By questioning them, I’ve refined them – and this convention is all the better for it, along with my personal sanity

Visit Steve’s official website here, and view his documentary teaser clip here (it’s good).

“Nilatak”

“Nilatak” is probably a guy you haven’t heard of, unless you were at T21C 2007, or were fortunate enough to stumble upon his speech – which in my opinion, is one of the best ever given minute for minute at this event.

Nilatak is a former administrator of Toplair, and a long time close friend. He is a lot older than myself, but far and wide has helped guide me since we met at my first approach a thon some 4 years ago. In a lot of different (and strange) ways, I feel that I have followed in his foot steps maturing through college, life, work, women, and beyond.

He is one of the few people to have seen me, and this event, progress through the years – from behind the scenes. He’s helped and given me advice, through thick and thin – hell, he even walked me through my first “pull” from a bar.

I can not stress enough how critical his help and words of wisdom have been over the years, in so many different areas. We don’t see eye to eye on every little thing – but I feel we are both better off because of it, and our willingness to communicate.

“Nilatak” is now approaching his 30′s, and was married not long ago to a beautiful woman from his home country in Eastern Europe.

View his website here, and see his 2009 convention speech when you purchase a 2009 DVD set in the coming weeks.

Nilatak currently focuses on helping get The 21 Convention featured in major news and publications. We’ll see if he can pull it off … if so, see you on CNN =)

Jared “Ratisse” Dwyer & “Slikk” (not pictured)

Jared “Ratisse” Dwyer is a 3 year attendee and 2 year speaker at The 21 Convention. He is also a close friend and former house mate from Project Orlando.

“Slikk” is also a former house mate at Project Orlando and for a short time also helped coach workshops with me back in the days of Under 21 Lifestyle.

I don’t have an immense amount to say about these two, but I mention both because living with them in the same house was a truly unique and helpful experience. I was exposed to a lot of new things and ideas living with them, and in the long run, I believe it helped my personal development tremendously.

Especially regarding “success with women”. Both of these guys, Jared especially, were frikin players with women. We had a blast going out and bringing women home.

And while I hardly recognized it at the time… learning and experiencing this process with them was priceless. Something I’ll never forget, and look back on consistently for guidance – as goofy, unorthodox, and annoying as some of the experiences were =). I learned how to get along with people that were very different from myself, and how to pick up chicks in the process.

Jared has also been a huge supporter of The 21 Convention over the years. Definitely an underrated speaker.

Find Ratisse on Facebook here and see him at both T21C Orlando this year as well as T21C Stockholm.

Dejan “Zebra” and “Dasani” (not pictured)

Dejan aka “Zebra” is a long time friend, 2 year convention attendee, former student (who’s far surpassed me with women), 2008 speaker, and a critical part of T21C 2010 (Stockholm) – our first event outside of the United States.

Dasani is one of the few 3 year convention attendees that has been here since the very beginning, when the event was completely unknown, and in it’s infancy. He’s also the author of two reviews of the event, that in my opinion, are two of the best ever written.

More importantly, Dejan and “Dasani” have helped guide me along all these years. This is probably news to both of them (no one mentioned in this post was notified beforehand), but it is the truth never the less, from my perspective.

Talking with these two on infrequent occasions via cell/skype, and at the live events … I don’t know how to explain it.

I suppose they’ve helped make the event more “real” for me on a personal level. Perhaps that’s because we are 3 young guys on separate, but similar paths. And speaking with/meeting them on rare occasions serves as a reference point of sorts. With Dejan it always seems to be work/school/women related, and Dasani, more “philosophical” related, but then again that trickles off into a lot of other fields.

Such as “what the eff am I doing with my life?” type stuff.

In any case, their expertise, experience, and ability to understand my crazy goals slash idealistic ambitions are much appreciated, and not to be forgotten.

Look forward to Zebra’s speech in Stockholm this year and visit his official site by clicking here. Visit Dasani’s blogspot here.

“Nautilus” & “Right Hand Man”

Nautilus and Right Hand Man are two older gentlemen who have been around, since the very beginning. I met Nautilus long before the first convention (which he went on to speak at), and I met RHM for the first time at the 2007 “approach a thon”.

What’s most intriguing about these guys to me, now (besides their unconventional and drama free approach to meeting women), is that they have shown exceptional patience for my pig headed and stubborn ways over the years.

That’s right (and probably not a surprise to many of you!). I was once very stubborn … and still am. The difference between “then” and now however is that it wasn’t an especially positive trait then. It often resulted in a LOT of unnecessary headache and abrasive arrogance, that got me into a good deal of trouble every so often.

Both of these men recognized this … and did their best to not fuel the fire. They told me what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it – and you know what? – I eventually listened. Both were right on a variety of different life issues, and I appreciate their combined wisdom and patience with me as I went through a few growing pains.

Without the help of these two men, my life would be a lot different right now – not to mention, The 21 Convention.

Check out RHM’s blogspot here, and look forward to seeing him in our coming documentary. And of course, RHM will be at T21C 2010 (Orlando). We also did a local radio interview together last spring here in Central Florida … maybe someday I can get the video from it. Was definitely a kick ass experience.

Tim L. and Jonas Sandstrom

Tim is my current room mate, and long time friend. He was literally the first person I talked to about hosting some sort of convention, and the first person to openly support it. Above even that … he was the original web designer for Under21Convention.com and other web properties once used.

The work was relatively basic, but never the less, I didn’t have the slightest clue how to do any of it back then. He did everything, for free, or damn near free. From helping register the domains, to hosting, and even setting up the original Vbulletin forum that was home base of The 21 Convention for quite some time.

Without Tim, there is little doubt in my mind that this convention would have ever even gotten off the ground, let alone become what it has today. Basic work, but of paramount and foundational importance. I hope to some day repay him for this debt, be it financially or otherwise.

Jonas Sandstrom is a person of similar relevance to The 21 Convention. From memory, I met him through my blog, The Dream Lounge. Like Tim, Jonas has helped behind the scenes with technical issues that would have otherwise eluded me, cost me hundreds if not thousands of dollars to fix, or dozens upon dozens of hours of my time that is constantly needed elsewhere.

While not as foundational as Tim’s work, I find it to be of equal importance as The21Convention.com and TheDreamLounge.net gain momentum in the digital world we live in today. I look forward to meeting Jonas in Stockholm this summer (he lives just a few hours away in Sweden). Check out his blog here.

Johnny “Manwhore” & Mehow

Manwhore – now there’s a classic convention speaker. Johnny Manwhore was present at both T21C 2007 and 2008 – and rocked the house both years.

Mehow was also a 2007/2008 speaker.

The primary reason I mention Manwhore and Mehow is that they came to speak at the event when it was in it’s infancy – for free. They flew across the country, and pulled in a lot of credibility to the event when it was needed most, as a result. They didn’t know me, and risked quite a bit coming to Orlando on word of mouth alone (as if the attendees didn’t!).

Never the less, without these two present in 2007, I am unsure as to where the event would be today.

In addition, Manwhore is someone who’s “had my back” on many occasions, as well as the convention in and of itself.

Check out Manwhore’s blog here and Mehow’s blog here. Look forward to the return of Johnny Manwhore at T21C 2010 (Orlando).

Dj Fuji & Dodger/Hshudo

Last but certainly not least: Dj Fuji and Hshudo – both new to the event in 2009.

I mention these two due to their grass roots involvement leading up to and post T21C 2009. Both have been highly involved with the online side of the convention. Dj Fuji has frequently blogged about T21C, spoken highly of it on and offline, and given a lot of care to the massive discussion of his 2009 speech.

Dj Fuji is also someone that has been very pro-active about his exposure from T21C 2009, and benefited greatly from it …

That’s right, T21C is here to help everyone, not just attendees. With guys like Dj Fuji, speaking at this event helped “put him on the map” and really gain a foot hold in a somewhat stagnant (and misguided) industry.

For someone to skyrocket in popularity from this event – that actually cares, and loves what he does!?

One word: awesome =)

Similarly, Dodger (Hshudo) has been by far the biggest contributor to The 21 Convention Community. He posts frequently, and helps fill the gap left behind as my role in this convention shifts (sort of like Peter being the host). Along with guys like Zebra and Right Hand Man posting on there, the forum remains value packed as ever.

Dodger also writes original content for The21Convention.com, and reviews products from T21C speakers – something I do no feel unbiased enough to do any longer.

For this, I thank Dj Fuji and Dodger. They may be relatively new, but have helped out in a big big way – and I look forward to having them back at the event for years to come.

Check out Dj Fuji’s blog here and his documentary teaser clip here.

Find Dodger on the discussion forum linked above, and all of his T21C content here.

*Also, be sure to bitch at Dodger on the forum about starting a coaching service. He’s been reluctant to do so, but I keep egging him on – because he’s good! And I feel it’s something he will excel at.

…

I wish I could go on, but this post is now over 3,000 words, and it has to end somewhere.

There are a lot of people who have helped this convention in very real and actionable ways over the years, and many were mentioned. If you are someone who has (even indirectly) and were not mentioned however, don’t sweat it. It’s unavoidable that I missed someone, and never the less, I do appreciate what you’ve done, even if I haven’t specifically stated so in this shout out.

Thanks guys, let’s continue kickin ass.

-Anthony/Dream

Just recently I was reading the forum here on The 21 Convention website. Someone there asked about dates.

This worried query came from Noodles, or Mikey B as he is known on the forum. “I have no idea how to date. I mean I have some sort of an idea like do shit that i find fun, and shit that doesn’t have to be expensive. But otherwise I don’t know.”

*The forum is by far the best way to get in contact with me, and every now and then a really good question makes me want to put together a thorough answer. This is one of those cases.

A lot of us don’t have a ...]]>

Just recently I was reading the forum here on The 21 Convention website. Someone there asked about dates.

This worried query came from Noodles, or Mikey B as he is known on the forum. “I have no idea how to date. I mean I have some sort of an idea like do shit that i find fun, and shit that doesn’t have to be expensive. But otherwise I don’t know.”

*The forum is by far the best way to get in contact with me, and every now and then a really good question makes me want to put together a thorough answer. This is one of those cases.

A lot of us don’t have a clue about dates. At one time, I certainly didn’t. Despite most of the communities obsession with same night lays, I have always been fond of the date. The date is the place I have always excelled most. This might be because my day game has tended to lead to them more. It could simply be because dates are easier. I would agree with that assertion. Either way, dates are a necessary part of the courtship process. Any player worth his salt can convert a date into sex or a relationship. Getting laid on 90% of your dates is not hard. With practice the novice can get a lot of success this way.

For the purposes of this explanation, I am not going to discuss setting up a date. That would require a long explanation of phone game, logistics, and seeding during the initial interaction. I reviewed a 164 page book on the subject by Braddock not long ago, that is pretty kick ass if that is the information you are interested in.

The most important part of any date does take place before the date begins. The plans agreed upon are the single LARGEST determining factor in whether or not you get laid. Obviously, if you don’t want to have sex, (for whatever reason) this is going to matter less. However, I enjoy sex, and therefore plan on making it an option at all times.

In order for sex to truly be on the table, the date must be set up accordingly. The most critical factor is that the date ends at a place where sex can happen. This may be her place, but on most occasions you want to make it your own. In your own home, you can control every part of the environment. You can make sure your roommates don’t interrupt. Her roommates would almost certainly interfere. Remember, the date should end at your place. I will talk more about specifically how to do this later.

Oddly, another thing that seems to help, is having her meet you. I prefer to have women meet me at my place. Picking a girl up before a date, implies inherently that you will take her back. Having her meet you makes it easier for her to spend the night. Seeing your place and then leaving also will make her more comfortable there. She still won’t feel right at home, but it is better than trying to talk her into coming back after you have had drinks at a bar that night. Its much better if your plans lead there. Her car is waiting for her. It isn’t hard to get her to come inside at that point.

Let’s talk about my house for a moment. I live in a dump. It is largely know that armed robberies occur on a regular basis nearby. Thus are the ways of cheap student housing. This doesn’t mean that my entire house is a disaster area or completely unclean. Well, not when women are over anyway. I have a small apartment with two roommates. If a girl is coming over, then I clean a few things.

This is the order of priority for cleaning.

1. Dishes

Just get them out of the sink. Almost nothing is more disgusting than a sink full of dishes.

2. The ring in your toilet.

Also nasty, this could be a quick deal breaker for any girls. So knock it out. A little toilet bowl cleaner will knock this out in seconds.

3. Dirty cloths/ Crap on your floor.

I don’t care if you stuff them in a closet or in a room she won’t see, just get it all out of the way. It’s just not cool if she has stuff to step over to get around in your place.

After those things, any more is really unnecessary. My house is pretty messy, but grooming your living space is every bit as important as the clothes your wear. Keep in mind that cleaning everything could make you look like a crazy person. I usually take less than an hour to do all my cleaning, so its worth it.

Finally, never choose a date that will stifle conversation. If you do this, it will cause a ton of problems. She simply won’t feel like she knows you that well. This is what makes movie theaters bad. It also rules out pretty much any performance, such as a play, musical, or concert. (I take girls to plays anyway. I like plays, and can plan around it. It does make sex more difficult though. Any rule can be broken. It is simply a matter of having the experience to know how.). Sporting events tend to be a little better, because it is quiet enough to talk sometimes. At my school though, its obscenely loud.

Lets talk a little bit more about making plans. A date is like a gift from the pick up gods. Some of the biggest obstacles in a good pick up are logistical. A date allows us the opportunity to completely control the logistics. Ahead of time, you should take care of most hurdles that you might face.

Lets look at my favorite date ideas. These should give you some simple ideas for taking girls out. Also, you can see the hurdles I am attempting to avoid.

Dinner and a movie at my place. Some people may think this idea is boring and uninspired. However, if you can get a girl to come over for this, then everything is easy. This is the best date ever. My date usually consists of cooking a meal together, and then watching a movie while we eat. Some times alcohol is imbibed, but not always or even usually.

In the interest of truth, this is actually how I ended up with my current GF. Meal was fajitas. Then a couple hours at my buddies having beer. Then the first fifteen minutes of fight club.

Making dinner together is a fun experience. It gives you time to talk, and get to know one another. Its a nice playing house moment. Feel free to throw in all those little role play jokes. They work great here. Afterward, while watching a movie, you can escalate very easily. Also, most women don’t get cooked for very often, so it is a little special to some of them. Some people would point at the movie as a problem. By the time the movie comes on, you should be in deep rapport. Sometimes I even play drinking games. Don’t turn the movie on if you aren’t already physically intimate. Otherwise sitting in silence will be awkward. Once you have escalated a little, you will soon be snuggling on the couch.

Also, this fulfills the key of ending at you place. Once the snuggling on the couch turns into something more, take her back to your room. If that is too much effort, just watch the movie in your room to begin with. I share the living room with other people at my place, so I take girls to my room at the beginning.

If you can’t cook, ask your mom to show you how to cook your favorite meal. My go to meal is red beans and rice. If you can only cook one thing, it is enough. That meal can work for every single girl. Often times, I get them to buy the ingredients because I am going to cook. All in all, cook some real food, microwaves don’t count.

The reason why this date is so good is that it creates a large window of opportunity. Logistically speaking, sex is possible at any time after she walks in my door. This means I don’t have to worry about extracting at any point, and obstacles should be null and void. She also has to stay there for a least three hours, so escalation becomes fairly easy.

All my other dates typically end with plans to do these two things later. Some times we might ice skate, swim, go shopping, look at art galleries, or go stargazing. However almost all of those can be followed up with dinner and a movie at my place.

Often the only thing I do outside of my house, is make a combined run to the grocery store. Walking around picking out fruits and meat counts as a date.

Now that you understand the logistics, I want to write about how to handle yourself.

Never run attraction game on a date. Sure, its nice to pump yourself up a little every now and then, but its not necessary. Go to far, and you will end up qualifying the entire evening. She is already attracted, or she wouldn’t have shown up in the first place.

In addition she is also going to be a little comfortable with you. Obviously, she won’t be extremely comfortable, but this is easily handled by all the time left for rapport game. You can use that early comfort to skip a great deal of work.

Most women will accept the tempo given to them. They will also accept the frame when you set it early on. Greet her with a hug. This will beat the hell out of a handshake. It also sets a certain level of physical familiarity as normal. When she shows up, she will be unsure of exactly what is going to happen. That is fine. You want to slip into escalation early and smoothly. She will accept this lead.

Since she is already attracted, you can begin to escalate a little and build some comfort. If you followed my advice, then you will meet her at your home. Give her the five minute or less tour. If you are leaving go ahead and leave. Just make sure to show her your bed room. There is no reason to stay there now.

What ever your second location is, you should escalate here. The method I use for my escalation is to treat her exactly as I would after we had sex. I put my arms around her, hug her, lay my head on her shoulder, lead her by the hand. The only thing I don’t do is kiss her. I skip it. But when she walks arm and arm with me out of the store, the kiss is a technicality. I may go as far as smacking her playfully on the ass. I just don’t kiss her.

Don’t neglect your comfort game here. This is a fine time to have an interview if you must. I tend to throw out my grounding routine here. As long as you fill in some of the blanks for her, then she will feel more comfortable with you.

I use a pretty standard grounding routine Other than that, we just talk about random things. Credit to Doc Holiday, because I stole the format from his speech with El Topo. Typically, I try to get this in before hand, but it doesn’t always happen.

Example:

She asks my major, because they always do. “Well, I’ve had four Majors, but now I am Creative Writing. I want to write books or novels, because when I was young and socially awkward, I used them to escape. I just want to bring the same thing that helped me to a new generation of readers.”

Now she knows something about me as a child, what my dreams are, what I am currently studying. I typically follow it up with, “So what are you passionate about?” Then I just ride the vibe.

All of this should take place away from your home. She will be more comfortable with these first advances there, because the ever looming presence of sex isn’t present. When you are alone with this girl at home, than it will makes things a little difficult sometimes. Since sex could legitimately take place in your home, she will throw up more barriers early.

By the time you get home, she should be very comfortable with the idea of cuddling up before the movie. If you need to feel where you are at, here is a decent line.

“Just so you know, We can only cuddle during the movie. No, kissing, no sex. I mean it. I don’t want you to distract me.” My tone makes it a joke. If she doesn’t blatantly shoot down the cuddling, then she is accepting that you are planning to do that. It is like permission.

Oh and since I gave you that, here is another good one. After ward, if she goes with it, you can follow up with, “We can have sex later if you behave. I just don’t want to be distracted from (insert male lead of movie here.”

After you make it home, it becomes hard core seduction time. I typically cuddle up with the girl after dinner. This where I make all my big moves.

The TV is turned on, but I don’t put it on too loud. I always make a point to position girls to make them easy to kiss. So once we are cuddled I typically put her head on my chest or something similar. I wait until I feel her relax. Maybe fifteen minutes or longer into the movie. Then I cup her chin so she looks at me. The general idea is I just want eye contact while we are cuddling.

If she holds that eye contact for more than about two seconds while we are silent, she is ready to be kissed. This rule holds true at all times, and is the single reason I no longer use kiss close routines.

Anyway, kiss her, then make out. Then sex. I got you to the kiss, the rest I am going to save for another article. I have at least a dozen LR’s up where I use this exact strategy. In fact for a while I stopped writing them simply because it was so repetitive.

Comments always welcome and appreciated.

Also, I realize my escalation explanation was a bit sparse. I plan to write an article on this before long.

-Dodger/Hshudo

Here is a question I would like to pose to you. What is the purpose of qualification?

When asked this most people get it wrong. They may say it convinces the girl you have standards, so she will like you more. Sure it does that, but that isn’t what it is for. Some might say, it allows you to test to see if she is already into you. It can be used for that, but still not the real purpose. Some guys use it to elicit values from a girl so they can mirror her better. It can do that, but its still not what I am looking for. Some people say that it gives you a list of reasons to tell a girl you like her. That way she won’t think you only enjoy her looks. Yet, this is also not the right answer.

These are all uses ...]]>

Here is a question I would like to pose to you. What is the purpose of qualification?

When asked this most people get it wrong. They may say it convinces the girl you have standards, so she will like you more. Sure it does that, but that isn’t what it is for. Some might say, it allows you to test to see if she is already into you. It can be used for that, but still not the real purpose. Some guys use it to elicit values from a girl so they can mirror her better. It can do that, but its still not what I am looking for. Some people say that it gives you a list of reasons to tell a girl you like her. That way she won’t think you only enjoy her looks. Yet, this is also not the right answer.

These are all uses of qualification. These are things it creates, and they can be extremely helpful. Still, this is not the true purpose. The purpose of qualification is to screen for the traits you want in a woman. These traits vary depending on what you want her for.

Here is a list of things I was looking for when trying to find a girlfriend. You could want completely different attributes in a woman. In no particular order.

1.Bisexual

I want a girl that likes women as much as me. I also want to have threesomes, so this is really basic. However most people make the mistake of not even asking.

2.She’s intelligent.

I have trouble dealing with unintelligent women. I’m a bit of an intellectual snob at times. I need a girl that can relate to my thoughts. There is no bigger turn off than explaining something twice.

3.She can cook.

I can’t cook well. Because I eat a strict diet, I cook a lot. So I want a girl that cooks better than me to share the load. Also, deep down, every man wants Mrs. Cleaver.

4.No Jealousy Issues

I am a massive flirt. At this point, every time I talk to women I flirt. Its just a bloody habit. It’s how I talk. So my girl cannot be easily upset by this sort of thing. Also, jealousy issues don’t mix with threesomes very well.

These are just a few, but they illustrate my point. During the last year, anytime a girl failed on a quality, I knew she wasn’t truly relationship material. This meant she could either be a fuck buddy, or a one night stand. This is how you find a good woman. You actually have to look for one. I am simply not compatible with certain women. Religious women tend to hate me, so I don’t date them.

This is the point of qualification. You shouldn’t use it because you want to trick her. You use it, because you legitimately care what kind of person she is. If you have these standards in the back of your mind, then you will be better off. When you know what you want, women find you more attractive. That’s great, but the reason is never attraction. The reason you use these is to judge whether or not you want her.

Most guys simply don’t have standards. They seem to just jump into a relationship with the first girl that will have them. A person of quality wouldn’t do that. You should be a person of quality. Before you let some girl into your life, make sure that she deserves it.

Some guys have trouble transitioning into these qualification questions. The questions are fairly simple. You just ask. Somethings need to be phrased a little gingery, and some can’t be asked. However, a lot simply can. Asking is the only way I can tell if a girl is bisexual. Usually it goes something like this.

There is a bit of a dip in the conversation, so I decide to bring up the topic. I have about a dozen ways to do so. Here are examples.

“Why do all women want to fuck Angelina Jolie?”

“Where’s your girlfriend? What you aren’t into girls? Why not?”

“Do you find other women attractive.” This usually transitions into me talking about the incredible beauty of the female form.

In order to transition in, simply add this to the beginning.

“That reminds me of something,”

“My friends and I were talking about,”

“Hmm, odd thought…”

“Hmmm, I want to ask you a question, but I’m not sure you can handle it.” (Credit, Nick Sparks) This one is best of used before a sexual question. Such as one about threesomes.

So now I know that answer. Others can be a bit more difficult. If I want to see if she is intelligent, then I pay attention to what she says more, and notice things. I don’t just let her coast. I actually press her for opinions and thoughts. Which is starkly different than the “waiting to talk” attitude of most guys in the community. I ask girls if they can cook. Then I let them use my kitchen to prove it. Cooking dinner is my favorite date activity.

Simply figure out how to test for the things on your list. This will manufacture opportunities for the girl to impress you. It will also give you more reasons to like her. If you have these standards then girls will live up to them. If you have no standards, then women will disappoint you. It does take time to find a girl that can live up to the expectations you have. However, the search is worth the payout.

-Dodger/Hshudo

A few nights ago, my girlfriend and I were sitting on my bed watching my speech. It occurred to me that I messed up. There were several points in my speech that went awry. A couple times I said something I didn’t mean or at least implied it. So, I am taking this opportunity to fill out something I spoke about, and clarify my ambiguity.

When I talked about rejection, I didn’t communicate what I meant clearly. In fact I almost sound like I am encouraging guys to force themselves on a girl. This is not what I meant, and far from anything I intended. So I am elaborating here to clear up some of the confusion I feel like I created.

REJECTION

I think this single word has caused me personally more problems than anything else. When I was younger my fear of rejection kept ...]]>

A few nights ago, my girlfriend and I were sitting on my bed watching my speech. It occurred to me that I messed up. There were several points in my speech that went awry. A couple times I said something I didn’t mean or at least implied it. So, I am taking this opportunity to fill out something I spoke about, and clarify my ambiguity.

When I talked about rejection, I didn’t communicate what I meant clearly. In fact I almost sound like I am encouraging guys to force themselves on a girl. This is not what I meant, and far from anything I intended. So I am elaborating here to clear up some of the confusion I feel like I created.

REJECTION

I think this single word has caused me personally more problems than anything else. When I was younger my fear of rejection kept me from talking to girls. It was the source of my AA when I originally joined the community. I was paralyzed by my fear of rejection. My own inability to handle rejection lost me many girls early on. However after my initial struggle with the dreaded “R” word, I have gotten a handle on it. Rejection in this case needs a definition. Just to keep us all on the same page.

Rejection: noun. Anytime a girl gives you a negative response of almost any kind.

Throughout an entire courtship, women have an infinite number of chances to reject us. She could do the back turn when we introduce ourselves. She could give us the head turn when we go for the kiss. She could flake on the dinner plans. She could not even answer when I call. The ways it can happen are varied to say the least. Guys often eject from set for no reason at all. They just ran out of things to say.

Rejection, despite all its power, really is never a big deal. I have been shot down many times. We all have. Yet I still sit writing this. So what is the problem? Why do we allow women to have so much power over us?

We all take rejection personally. We allow what her opinion is to effect how we think about ourselves. The opinion of a random girl should never matter that much. She doesn’t know you well enough to make any kind of judgment. We are all familiar with this idea, but still we have a problem. We allow other people reactions to change how we feel about ourselves. However, rejection in my experience, is rarely a comment about me. It is far more likely a comment about her.

This is the key guys. Nine times our of ten, when a girl rejects you, it is completely fixable. A girl can always be recovered. Also, she is rarely rejecting you based on something you did. It is far more likely to be caused by an external factor. Understand, a rejection doesn’t end the game, it just changes it a little.

For instance, if a girl gives you the head turn, it doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t ready to kiss you. I have gotten head turns from girls for other reasons. After I “closed” these girls, they told me why they initially rejected me. One was afraid her breath was bad. (We did just eat onions on some fajitas I made.) Another was against kissing in public.

I was actually dating a Japanese girl for a little while that wouldn’t even let me touch her in public. Yet alone, she would practically tear my cloths off. Rejection happens, and it is not usually you.

Instead of getting upset, get a handle on the situation. When she pushes you away, or gives you the back turn don’t take it personally. That is the old way. If you want to get better, then step back and analyze. Understand the exact reason that she rejected you. Depending on the situation it could be anything.

Maybe you were talking quietly and she didn’t hear you. Maybe you moved too fast and didn’t escalate smoothly. Maybe she is embarrassed in front of her friends. Maybe she is at work and can’t answer her phone.

Anytime this sort of thing happens, step back and figure it out. Don’t take it as a comment against you as a person. Understand that you made a small mistake, and that it is time to fix it. If she gave you the head turn figure out why, then fix it. Typically all you need to do is let her get to know you better, or simply wait for a more private moment.

Understanding these mistakes is the key to better game. I get rejected a lot, but I use them as opportunities. Rejection tells me a mistake I made. I also get to instantly fix it. It lets me know I was moving faster than the tension or attraction could keep up with. It lets me know she still thinks of me as a stranger or that I haven’t built enough attraction. It lets me know if I need to remember to seed, or make plans before I get a number. It lets me know if I need to smooth out my escalation. The key to rejection is using it for improvement.

Most of you reading this, will know nearly as much theory as me. All you need to do is apply it. Anytime you get rejected, simply smile and shrug it off. Then apply all the theory locked inside your head, and figure out your mistake.

I routinely bed women that rejected me at one point or another. Almost every PUA gets some sort of negative feedback from a girl eventually. If he never does, then he is not pushing his boundaries. If you can learn to fix your mistakes rather than getting upset, then your game will skyrocket.

-Dodger/Hshudo

Find me on the forum at http://www.the21convention.com/forum

E-mail me at Pua321 at Gmail.com

The Q and A panel is an annual tradition beginning in 2008 at The 21 Convention. All remaining speakers at the event are gathered on stage for an unprecedented collection of knowledge on a variety of topics- a special thanks to all of the live attendees.

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Former rival turned friend of Dream- Hshudo has been hailed as the world’s “best under 21 pickup artist”. At the tender age of 20 he spends much of his time fighting off hordes of women on his college campus in Tennessee (just kidding, he sleeps with them).

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