Just recently I was reading the forum here on The 21 Convention website. Someone there asked about dates.

This worried query came from Noodles, or Mikey B as he is known on the forum. “I have no idea how to date. I mean I have some sort of an idea like do shit that i find fun, and shit that doesn’t have to be expensive. But otherwise I don’t know.”

*The forum is by far the best way to get in contact with me, and every now and then a really good question makes me want to put together a thorough answer. This is one of those cases.

A lot of us don’t have a clue about dates. At one time, I certainly didn’t. Despite most of the communities obsession with same night lays, I have always been fond of the date. The date is the place I have always excelled most. This might be because my day game has tended to lead to them more. It could simply be because dates are easier. I would agree with that assertion. Either way, dates are a necessary part of the courtship process. Any player worth his salt can convert a date into sex or a relationship. Getting laid on 90% of your dates is not hard. With practice the novice can get a lot of success this way.

For the purposes of this explanation, I am not going to discuss setting up a date. That would require a long explanation of phone game, logistics, and seeding during the initial interaction. I reviewed a 164 page book on the subject by Braddock not long ago, that is pretty kick ass if that is the information you are interested in.

The most important part of any date does take place before the date begins. The plans agreed upon are the single LARGEST determining factor in whether or not you get laid. Obviously, if you don’t want to have sex, (for whatever reason) this is going to matter less. However, I enjoy sex, and therefore plan on making it an option at all times.

In order for sex to truly be on the table, the date must be set up accordingly. The most critical factor is that the date ends at a place where sex can happen. This may be her place, but on most occasions you want to make it your own. In your own home, you can control every part of the environment. You can make sure your roommates don’t interrupt. Her roommates would almost certainly interfere. Remember, the date should end at your place. I will talk more about specifically how to do this later.

Oddly, another thing that seems to help, is having her meet you. I prefer to have women meet me at my place. Picking a girl up before a date, implies inherently that you will take her back. Having her meet you makes it easier for her to spend the night. Seeing your place and then leaving also will make her more comfortable there. She still won’t feel right at home, but it is better than trying to talk her into coming back after you have had drinks at a bar that night. Its much better if your plans lead there. Her car is waiting for her. It isn’t hard to get her to come inside at that point.

Let’s talk about my house for a moment. I live in a dump. It is largely know that armed robberies occur on a regular basis nearby. Thus are the ways of cheap student housing. This doesn’t mean that my entire house is a disaster area or completely unclean. Well, not when women are over anyway. I have a small apartment with two roommates. If a girl is coming over, then I clean a few things.

This is the order of priority for cleaning.

1. Dishes

Just get them out of the sink. Almost nothing is more disgusting than a sink full of dishes.

2. The ring in your toilet.

Also nasty, this could be a quick deal breaker for any girls. So knock it out. A little toilet bowl cleaner will knock this out in seconds.

3. Dirty cloths/ Crap on your floor.

I don’t care if you stuff them in a closet or in a room she won’t see, just get it all out of the way. It’s just not cool if she has stuff to step over to get around in your place.

After those things, any more is really unnecessary. My house is pretty messy, but grooming your living space is every bit as important as the clothes your wear. Keep in mind that cleaning everything could make you look like a crazy person. I usually take less than an hour to do all my cleaning, so its worth it.

Finally, never choose a date that will stifle conversation. If you do this, it will cause a ton of problems. She simply won’t feel like she knows you that well. This is what makes movie theaters bad. It also rules out pretty much any performance, such as a play, musical, or concert. (I take girls to plays anyway. I like plays, and can plan around it. It does make sex more difficult though. Any rule can be broken. It is simply a matter of having the experience to know how.). Sporting events tend to be a little better, because it is quiet enough to talk sometimes. At my school though, its obscenely loud.

Lets talk a little bit more about making plans. A date is like a gift from the pick up gods. Some of the biggest obstacles in a good pick up are logistical. A date allows us the opportunity to completely control the logistics. Ahead of time, you should take care of most hurdles that you might face.

Lets look at my favorite date ideas. These should give you some simple ideas for taking girls out. Also, you can see the hurdles I am attempting to avoid.

Dinner and a movie at my place. Some people may think this idea is boring and uninspired. However, if you can get a girl to come over for this, then everything is easy. This is the best date ever. My date usually consists of cooking a meal together, and then watching a movie while we eat. Some times alcohol is imbibed, but not always or even usually.

In the interest of truth, this is actually how I ended up with my current GF. Meal was fajitas. Then a couple hours at my buddies having beer. Then the first fifteen minutes of fight club.

Making dinner together is a fun experience. It gives you time to talk, and get to know one another. Its a nice playing house moment. Feel free to throw in all those little role play jokes. They work great here. Afterward, while watching a movie, you can escalate very easily. Also, most women don’t get cooked for very often, so it is a little special to some of them. Some people would point at the movie as a problem. By the time the movie comes on, you should be in deep rapport. Sometimes I even play drinking games. Don’t turn the movie on if you aren’t already physically intimate. Otherwise sitting in silence will be awkward. Once you have escalated a little, you will soon be snuggling on the couch.

Also, this fulfills the key of ending at you place. Once the snuggling on the couch turns into something more, take her back to your room. If that is too much effort, just watch the movie in your room to begin with. I share the living room with other people at my place, so I take girls to my room at the beginning.

If you can’t cook, ask your mom to show you how to cook your favorite meal. My go to meal is red beans and rice. If you can only cook one thing, it is enough. That meal can work for every single girl. Often times, I get them to buy the ingredients because I am going to cook. All in all, cook some real food, microwaves don’t count.

The reason why this date is so good is that it creates a large window of opportunity. Logistically speaking, sex is possible at any time after she walks in my door. This means I don’t have to worry about extracting at any point, and obstacles should be null and void. She also has to stay there for a least three hours, so escalation becomes fairly easy.

All my other dates typically end with plans to do these two things later. Some times we might ice skate, swim, go shopping, look at art galleries, or go stargazing. However almost all of those can be followed up with dinner and a movie at my place.

Often the only thing I do outside of my house, is make a combined run to the grocery store. Walking around picking out fruits and meat counts as a date.

Now that you understand the logistics, I want to write about how to handle yourself.

Never run attraction game on a date. Sure, its nice to pump yourself up a little every now and then, but its not necessary. Go to far, and you will end up qualifying the entire evening. She is already attracted, or she wouldn’t have shown up in the first place.

In addition she is also going to be a little comfortable with you. Obviously, she won’t be extremely comfortable, but this is easily handled by all the time left for rapport game. You can use that early comfort to skip a great deal of work.

Most women will accept the tempo given to them. They will also accept the frame when you set it early on. Greet her with a hug. This will beat the hell out of a handshake. It also sets a certain level of physical familiarity as normal. When she shows up, she will be unsure of exactly what is going to happen. That is fine. You want to slip into escalation early and smoothly. She will accept this lead.

Since she is already attracted, you can begin to escalate a little and build some comfort. If you followed my advice, then you will meet her at your home. Give her the five minute or less tour. If you are leaving go ahead and leave. Just make sure to show her your bed room. There is no reason to stay there now.

What ever your second location is, you should escalate here. The method I use for my escalation is to treat her exactly as I would after we had sex. I put my arms around her, hug her, lay my head on her shoulder, lead her by the hand. The only thing I don’t do is kiss her. I skip it. But when she walks arm and arm with me out of the store, the kiss is a technicality. I may go as far as smacking her playfully on the ass. I just don’t kiss her.

Don’t neglect your comfort game here. This is a fine time to have an interview if you must. I tend to throw out my grounding routine here. As long as you fill in some of the blanks for her, then she will feel more comfortable with you.

I use a pretty standard grounding routine Other than that, we just talk about random things. Credit to Doc Holiday, because I stole the format from his speech with El Topo. Typically, I try to get this in before hand, but it doesn’t always happen.

Example:

She asks my major, because they always do. “Well, I’ve had four Majors, but now I am Creative Writing. I want to write books or novels, because when I was young and socially awkward, I used them to escape. I just want to bring the same thing that helped me to a new generation of readers.”

Now she knows something about me as a child, what my dreams are, what I am currently studying. I typically follow it up with, “So what are you passionate about?” Then I just ride the vibe.

All of this should take place away from your home. She will be more comfortable with these first advances there, because the ever looming presence of sex isn’t present. When you are alone with this girl at home, than it will makes things a little difficult sometimes. Since sex could legitimately take place in your home, she will throw up more barriers early.

By the time you get home, she should be very comfortable with the idea of cuddling up before the movie. If you need to feel where you are at, here is a decent line.

“Just so you know, We can only cuddle during the movie. No, kissing, no sex. I mean it. I don’t want you to distract me.” My tone makes it a joke. If she doesn’t blatantly shoot down the cuddling, then she is accepting that you are planning to do that. It is like permission.

Oh and since I gave you that, here is another good one. After ward, if she goes with it, you can follow up with, “We can have sex later if you behave. I just don’t want to be distracted from (insert male lead of movie here.”

After you make it home, it becomes hard core seduction time. I typically cuddle up with the girl after dinner. This where I make all my big moves.

The TV is turned on, but I don’t put it on too loud. I always make a point to position girls to make them easy to kiss. So once we are cuddled I typically put her head on my chest or something similar. I wait until I feel her relax. Maybe fifteen minutes or longer into the movie. Then I cup her chin so she looks at me. The general idea is I just want eye contact while we are cuddling.

If she holds that eye contact for more than about two seconds while we are silent, she is ready to be kissed. This rule holds true at all times, and is the single reason I no longer use kiss close routines.

Anyway, kiss her, then make out. Then sex. I got you to the kiss, the rest I am going to save for another article. I have at least a dozen LR’s up where I use this exact strategy. In fact for a while I stopped writing them simply because it was so repetitive.

Comments always welcome and appreciated.

Also, I realize my escalation explanation was a bit sparse. I plan to write an article on this before long.

-Dodger/Hshudo