A few nights ago, my girlfriend and I were sitting on my bed watching my speech. It occurred to me that I messed up. There were several points in my speech that went awry. A couple times I said something I didn’t mean or at least implied it. So, I am taking this opportunity to fill out something I spoke about, and clarify my ambiguity.

When I talked about rejection, I didn’t communicate what I meant clearly. In fact I almost sound like I am encouraging guys to force themselves on a girl. This is not what I meant, and far from anything I intended. So I am elaborating here to clear up some of the confusion I feel like I created.

REJECTION

I think this single word has caused me personally more problems than anything else. When I was younger my fear of rejection kept me from talking to girls. It was the source of my AA when I originally joined the community. I was paralyzed by my fear of rejection. My own inability to handle rejection lost me many girls early on. However after my initial struggle with the dreaded “R” word, I have gotten a handle on it. Rejection in this case needs a definition. Just to keep us all on the same page.

Rejection: noun. Anytime a girl gives you a negative response of almost any kind.

Throughout an entire courtship, women have an infinite number of chances to reject us. She could do the back turn when we introduce ourselves. She could give us the head turn when we go for the kiss. She could flake on the dinner plans. She could not even answer when I call. The ways it can happen are varied to say the least. Guys often eject from set for no reason at all. They just ran out of things to say.

Rejection, despite all its power, really is never a big deal. I have been shot down many times. We all have. Yet I still sit writing this. So what is the problem? Why do we allow women to have so much power over us?

We all take rejection personally. We allow what her opinion is to effect how we think about ourselves. The opinion of a random girl should never matter that much. She doesn’t know you well enough to make any kind of judgment. We are all familiar with this idea, but still we have a problem. We allow other people reactions to change how we feel about ourselves. However, rejection in my experience, is rarely a comment about me. It is far more likely a comment about her.

This is the key guys. Nine times our of ten, when a girl rejects you, it is completely fixable. A girl can always be recovered. Also, she is rarely rejecting you based on something you did. It is far more likely to be caused by an external factor. Understand, a rejection doesn’t end the game, it just changes it a little.

For instance, if a girl gives you the head turn, it doesn’t necessarily mean she isn’t ready to kiss you. I have gotten head turns from girls for other reasons. After I “closed” these girls, they told me why they initially rejected me. One was afraid her breath was bad. (We did just eat onions on some fajitas I made.) Another was against kissing in public.

I was actually dating a Japanese girl for a little while that wouldn’t even let me touch her in public. Yet alone, she would practically tear my cloths off. Rejection happens, and it is not usually you.

Instead of getting upset, get a handle on the situation. When she pushes you away, or gives you the back turn don’t take it personally. That is the old way. If you want to get better, then step back and analyze. Understand the exact reason that she rejected you. Depending on the situation it could be anything.

Maybe you were talking quietly and she didn’t hear you. Maybe you moved too fast and didn’t escalate smoothly. Maybe she is embarrassed in front of her friends. Maybe she is at work and can’t answer her phone.

Anytime this sort of thing happens, step back and figure it out. Don’t take it as a comment against you as a person. Understand that you made a small mistake, and that it is time to fix it. If she gave you the head turn figure out why, then fix it. Typically all you need to do is let her get to know you better, or simply wait for a more private moment.

Understanding these mistakes is the key to better game. I get rejected a lot, but I use them as opportunities. Rejection tells me a mistake I made. I also get to instantly fix it. It lets me know I was moving faster than the tension or attraction could keep up with. It lets me know she still thinks of me as a stranger or that I haven’t built enough attraction. It lets me know if I need to remember to seed, or make plans before I get a number. It lets me know if I need to smooth out my escalation. The key to rejection is using it for improvement.

Most of you reading this, will know nearly as much theory as me. All you need to do is apply it. Anytime you get rejected, simply smile and shrug it off. Then apply all the theory locked inside your head, and figure out your mistake.

I routinely bed women that rejected me at one point or another. Almost every PUA gets some sort of negative feedback from a girl eventually. If he never does, then he is not pushing his boundaries. If you can learn to fix your mistakes rather than getting upset, then your game will skyrocket.

-Dodger/Hshudo

Find me on the forum at http://www.the21convention.com/forum

E-mail me at Pua321 at Gmail.com