The 21 Convention

Committing to the Party

Posted on 04. Oct, 2009 by Anthony 'Dream' Johnson in Articles

Man, the things you experience with the right set of eyes and ears.

Monday night at Greenhouse has become a pretty great party here in New York.  They get great DJ’s, have a pretty spectacular space, and promote the hell out of it.

I’ve been coming to this party since it started, and five or so months on, its still fun.

Every now and then, I like to come in, sit, and just pay attention.  I pay attention to the women, of course, and which men they’re talking to.

But as an occasional DJ, I also pay attention to what songs are getting people moving.  Being an occasional host, I pay attention to how much people are drinking.  And being an all around social person, I pay attention to how much fun people are having.

I want to share something with you from this absolutely wild scene that you can use when you go out: there comes a point in the night when you have to commit to the party.

When you combine music, drinking, and women, there’s going to be a party.  It may be a blast or it may be a downer – it depends on how the energy of the party flows.

A good DJ can keep the energy going, so can a great dancer, so can a few really fun, social people.  But once the party hits critical mass (and they know how to engineer that shit here in NYC) it is a proper party.

The women are feeling GOOD.

This is the key, key point. Women are feeling good. And they want to keep feeling good.

Now, this doesn’t happen at the start of the party.  At the start, they’re sitting there on their cell phone, checking their friends’ facebook status messages, texting people to see if they’re coming… etc.  At this point, they’re not really feeling good.

They’re deciding whether they want to commit to the party. Then a guy comes along.  Or a song comes along.  Or a drink gets passed their way.  Whatever.  Soon they’re starting to feel better.

Tomorrow’s cares vanish and they start to flow with it.  Somewhere in the room, people are starting to dance.  They don’t notice the faces of these people, but they notice movement.  Someone, somewhere, is having fun.

It now becomes ok for them to have fun.

And the more fun they have, the more virtuous a circle.  More drinks are handed their way.  More men come talk to them. My DJ mentor once told me “there are two rules.  1.) get the girls dancing and 2.) get the girls dancing.”

Now you and I both know why he said this.  If you can get the girls dancing, you can get the party’s energy going.

Throwing a good party means managing the energy of the room, from start to finish.  Sometimes it happens randomly, but it’s tough to pull off night in, night out.  I respect the people who run these high end nightclubs who make a living off of doing this.

And where do you and I fit into all of this?  We’re the ones trying to figure shit out.  Trying to see where we fit in, and meet a few fun girls in the process.

But here’s the secret: we fit in where we want to fit in. If its early on in the party and we are quiet and serene, we fit into the corner, which is meant for us in such moments.  It is dark and no one is really paying attention to us.

But if we’re having a good time, being social, meeting everyone… we stop fitting in, and we start standing out.

We stand out in a good way, because all of a sudden, WE are the ones having fun.  We are the ones making things happen.  Creating momentum and reinforcing the energy of the party. And there comes a point during every party, when the momentum is building, the energy is rising, more people are entering than exiting… when you have to commit to it.

At that point, you have to recognize it for what it is, and either love it entirely for what it is, or leave it and return to a quieter place.

At that point – and it really is a tipping point – you begin to stand out more for being alone and aloof than you do for having a blast and being social.

You have to make your choice.  And there’s no shame in the latter.  I write this right now at 2:45 AM, I guess its now Tuesday morning, and I decided that I didn’t want to commit to it this night.  I went in planning to hear some new songs to integrate into my set list, and that’s what I got.

But sitting back, relaxing, and observing without judgment… I’m reminded that if you don’t bring a little bit of party with you when you arrive, you can’t expect much in return.

So bring the fun.  Commit to your night, or go home and save it for another time.  There are many better places to be than the party you’re thinking of going to tonight – a beach in Hawaii, a ski resort in the Swiss Alps, or heck, even your comfy-as-shit bed – so make the most of the parties you go to when you go to them.

Go big or go home.

There’s no other way to rock it.

-Christian Hudson

Founder: The Social Man

http://www.TheSocialMan.com

See my 2009 convention speech free here.

Tags: christian hudson, the social man, unbreakable

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