The other day Peter Murphy and I sat down for an interview with the UCF paper.

Overall it went really well- and I’ll post it up here when it releases.

On the way home from class today though I was thinking about one of Peter’s responses- something that immediately sent off an alarm in my head (at the time, I made sure to correct upon his response).

For the life of me I can’t remember the question, or even Peter’s exact words- but it went something like so…

Journalist: Question xyz (it may have been “best piece of advice for a guy to go out and have “success” tonight, but I’m not positive).

Peter then decided to answer first- no sweat, he’s a big part of this and I want him to have his own opinions shared for sure. But his answer- as I said, set off an ALARM in my head.

It was something like so… (not verbatim)

“…women have all the power over men….we can change that by doing abc and xyz…”

I let him finish, and then interjected. Below, I’ll summarize my response.

*Edit*- this is not an exact quote from Peter M. It’s simply my vague recollection of a personal interpretation, of, what he said- used to make a point in this post. Do not let this define your view of Peter, who has experienced a great deal of “success” with many, many women .

The basic premise is this- what Peter said is a core, fundamental error in thinking about success with women.

Women do NOT have “all the power”. No, not by a long shot.

In fact in regards to gender roles, the only have power they have over us is the power we give them.

So how does this translate into practical advice?

The power women have in social settings is largely an illusion. It doesn’t exist, except in our minds (as we allow it).

Meaning- it’s all bull shit.

What’s worse- this then transfers over to a lack of gender respect (most men simply don’t demand enough, or any of it- so the norm is to go without). Women in western society simply don’t respect men- as a sex- as they do in other parts of the world.

I’ve seen it with my own two eyes in South America- it’s a totally different vibe talking to the women that live there.

Even watching the social interactions between the people who live there- it’s very different from what I’ve seen in various parts of the US (from Florida, to California, Vegas, and Tennessee).

It’s as if here, we just pretend- “role play”- and throw up this big image (ego) that separates male and female. It might look “okay”, because it is accepted as the norm at this point, but make no mistake about it.

It sucks.

Who’s fault is probably the next question to ask- the chicken or the egg?

Probably a bit of both, but I would lean towards US, as men if I had to pick one (male/female)- simply because we’re here to lead. It’s encoded into every cell in our bodies.

The last thing women want is our “power” as men- giving this to a woman is probably the most unattractive thing one can do- period.

Hence the classic “shit test” terminology.

This is when a girl “pokes” or pings you as a man- she tests you- and if you don’t know who you are (if you buy into the illusion that women inherently have power over men, knowingly or unknowingly, for example), you will fail.

Maybe not now, but inevitably you will. This lie will catch up to you sooner or later, no ifs ands or buts about it.

…

On my blog, The Dream Lounge, part of my disclaimer is that I do not represent The 21 Convention officially- even though I am the founder/director of it. This gives me a little more leeway to speak my mind without having to worry about repercussions (much).

But on here- you bet your ass I represent the convention. I stand behind every word or move, and take full responsibility, period.

In light of this, I want to make it clear- my official stance, and as a by product this convention’s- is that women do NOT have power over men.

This convention is NOT about “empowering men”, it’s about HELPING MEN REALIZE THAT WE ARE ALREADY EMPOWERED TO DO WHATEVER WE WANT.

Meeting a girl and assuming (consciously or unconsciously) that you somehow need to raise yourself up to her level as a person is pure poison- for you, and especially her.

Again, this is downright disgusting to her on a deep level, and I can only imagine a bit saddening to recognize night after night, time and time again.

She may not know it at a young age, but eventually she’ll catch onto this as she grows up- from a girl to a woman.

There is absolutely no need (long term), to tack anything on to your identity to attract women- and I simply won’t have that kind of thinking a part of this convention on the forefront.

It saddens both men and women alike, and I believe is a pillar of what has lead our generation astray with relationships, dating, and the like.

-Dream