This is part 2 of a 3 part interview with dating coach and thought leader, Nick Sparks. Nick has played a major role in The Social Man, since it’s founding; has been featured on CNN and other major media outlets, and was seen this past July at The 21 Convention.

See his speech September 8th 6pm EST, 100% free in streaming HD at The21Convention.com (it’s so good, I’m sticking it right on the home page).

If you missed part 1 of his interview, click here.

3. During your speech this past July I recognized a lot of the same concepts I spoke about- some word for word….things I had never told anyone about before my presentation. This made much of what you had to say hit home all the harder with me- and I think as a result, the rest of the audience. Are there any key points you want to re-iterate as a sort of preview of your speech? Things that you feel really need to spread- especially for guys my age.

If there was one core message I would send to guys in college or anyone at that age to keep in mind is that there is virtually no structure for how you’re supposed to act or be.

Anyone who tries to keep themselves inside of this box of how he’s supposed to act is going to miss most of it. Whoever pushes the boundaries of who he is and what is acceptable and how he can interact with other human beings that will bring about the most positive feelings will grow and get stronger.

No matter what your major or vocation happens to be; adolescence and young-adulthood is the time to learn who you are.

That’s going to involve facing discomfort head on instead of avoiding it, and putting yourself out there to face the ridicule of others.

The thing is though, there is no better time of your life to do this. No one at that stage of his or her development has everything figured out. Everyone is looking for a leader. And it’s because of this that you have your perfect opportunity to hone that skill that’s going to get you everywhere you want in life.

The secret is that there’s no secret. Those guys that are doing all of the leading and, consequently getting all of the attention don’t know some magical secret that you don’t.

They faced the same fear and uncertainty that everyone at this stage in their life faces, and instead of stay silent and retreat, they put themselves out there, faced the fire of rejection, took some lumps, and began getting very comfortable taking the lead. They just started doing it. Sometimes they got rejected, sometimes they had success, but they eventually developed the ability to become a leader in a group.

You can’t expect to skip a level on this one.

The good news is, it’s college, no one else knows what the hell is going on so if you start putting yourself out there as a leader people will follow, and all of the traits and skills will follow suit as part of the natural process of connecting with other people and taking them someplace better.

4. Getting a bit esoterical on you here…but where do you feel western society has gone “wrong” in terms of male/female relationships and the psychology behind them (on both ends of the spectrum)? And as a tangent, when? At what points have things taken a turn- positive and negative?

Lol, oh jeez, I could go on forever on this one – and you can’t really say “western society” when it’s definitely more of global society thing, save a few pockets of Latin and French, influence.

One could say, actually, that at any point in human history – any time that division or fear has held favor in public consciousness, the effect it has on male/female relationships is not a pleasant one.

Drawing back to fairly recent history, the last time things were really open between the sexes was during the European Renaissance. Tales spread of great seducers who unlocked the hearts of women during the Middle Ages that were just coming to an end. The female passion was celebrated, Romeo & Juliet was written, and people made a ton of babies. Luckily, advancements in technology in this period allowed us to support them.

Then, as if it were a dream, the Renaissance came to an end. The Roman Catholic Inquisition crusaded against ‘Protestants’ and won, killing the likes of Galileo and other leading thinkers of the time, and in the process stamping out the wave of enlightenment.

Then the male/female walls went sky high. Fear of eternal damnation for an impure thought ruled the day. Scientific thought got shut out, and “don’t masturbate, or you’ll go blind, and burn in hell” became the law.

Then, under the theme of discovering the new world, these fears, and a culture created by them were spread to every corner of the globe. New colonies were set up regardless of current current residents, and the division of the sexes continued. Before fighting for the right to vote, women were fighting for the right to not be burned at the stake for being a witch, which definitely included women that wanted to have sex too often.

Many years and an industrial revolution later, we aren’t much further along. After a brief stretch of craziness in the 20′s which was taken care of by prohibition, we were back to hand holding and ice cream and 21 year olds who really believed that babies came from storks – well, probably not, but he still knew for sure that masturbating would definitely make you go blind.

Then, all of a sudden, things started to get really crazy. Between suburban emptiness in the ’50s, and an ideological war developing abroad, people started to challenge the old way of thinking. Drugs were flying, along with Kinsey reports, birth control, women’s empowerment, rock & roll, and all sorts of crazy shit. Walls between the sexes broke down and people had a lot more sex.

Then came cocaine and the backlash to the rebellion that left everyone a bit stunned and a bit unsure of which way to proceed.

So yeah, when our generation is faced with men and women who are sometimes too anxious to talk to one another and searching far and wide for an answer to this problem it really shouldn’t be that surprising to us at all.

The fact that we’re actively doing something about it is showing the most progress to breaking down those barriers in the past 700 years.

5. What do you believe can be done about this, and what scenarios do you see playing out for my generation? (We’ll say, men and women between the ages of 17 and 26).

Quite frankly I see this all being resolved in this generation.

I know, crazy, right? But if you could compare this particular period to any other, I would have to go with the Middle Ages right before the Renaissance.

You have quite a bit of fear, anxiety, and distance between the sexes, and this past century has seen acts of human brutality rivaled only by that of the middle ages, both with a solid dark ages right before it.

In both situations, cracks started to form and light started to seep in. As I like to say, water can only build up behind a dam for so long before it breaks, and you can feel the growing number of people getting active about what’s going on in their lives.

It’s this generation, by re-connecting with the opposite sex on positive emotion and casting out the things which keep us apart, that will usher this all in.

You can see it everywhere, men and women who look as though they are trying to find something that they’ve lost. They may think they want some material thing that takes their mind off of everything else. Reading through any classic tales of the Don Juan’s and the Casanova’s shows the women in almost identical situations.

These women were typically wealthy, bored, in a passionless marriage after thinking that marrying for money was a good idea, and probably feeling a bit lost like many of the women in our world today.

The people that made the difference then will have something in common with the people who make the difference now – who usher in this new Renaissance.

They will not have access to any secret, they will be the ones who realize the barriers only exist in the mind, and who’s courage inspires women to break down their own barriers.